Confronting your fear factor.
“Imagine fear as an ever-present guest in the room of your life. It’s okay for fear to be there, to exist alongside your dreams and daily routines. However, while fear gets a voice (often, it’s trying to protect you in its way), it doesn’t always get a vote. Accept your fears, make room for them but hold the reins firmly. You direct your journey, and fear is just along for the ride.” – Elizabeth Gilbert
We all face hard decisions in life, but it’s important to not let fear determine what you can and can’t do.
Some of us have already identified and are working through our fears, while others may not know their fears but rather experience a period of inaction or avoidance in certain areas of their life; these are usually telltale signs that fear is at work.
The one thing I know for sure is the more you understand your fear, face it and change your response to it, the freer you will be to experience new things, chase your dreams, become the best version of yourself and inspire others to do the same.
So, how do we change our response to fear?
First, understand what specifically is scaring you and why. If it’s hard to pinpoint, look for any patterns or situations that make you uncomfortable. In your career, it may be public speaking, taking on a new role or responsibilities, working for a new company or even making a career change. In life, common fears include fear of the unknown/something out of your control, fear of failure, fear of embarrassment, fear of change, fear of rejection or even fear of illness/death. If you really take the time to reflect, you will be able to identify what’s bothering you and drill down even further to the root cause.
Second, trust that you can and will move beyond your fear/fears. View your fears as challenges that present opportunities for growth. Believe that you can learn techniques on how to handle them, so they don’t dictate what you can and can’t do.
Third, challenge negative thoughts that arise from your fears. When we allow ourselves to only focus on our fears, we tend to be overly pessimistic and irrational, often leading to a negative emotional spiral. Instead, flip the script and think more positively and realistically. Replace, “What could go wrong?” with “What will go right,” and take the time to visualize the best outcome possible! Play that visualization over and over in your head instead.
Fourth, expose yourself to difficult situations gradually over time. The more times you face and move through your fear/fears, the less control they will have over you, and the more confidence and positive momentum you will build, until one day you realize they are no longer a troubling factor in your life.
Fifth, take care of yourself. If you don’t take care of yourself, you are more susceptible to stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline that can cause and magnify your negative responses to fear, such as anxiety, trouble concentrating, a racing heart, abdominal distress, tension, restless or even a sense of impeding danger or doom. However, prioritizing your physical and mental wellbeing through exercise, proper nutrition, breathwork/meditation/prayer, sufficient sleep, fresh air and sunlight can decrease your susceptibility to cortisol and adrenaline spikes, making it easier to face and move through difficult situations.
Sixth, consider talking to someone - a friend, a therapist, a career counselor, a mentor or someone you trust- who can offer tools, encouragement and advice to get you on the other side of your fear/fears. Sometimes getting things out of your head simply by vocalizing them can make a tremendous impact. Knowing that others have experienced similar things can be helpful as well.
Once you’ve confronted your fear factor, help others confront theirs, so that fear doesn’t stop any of us from being our true selves, speaking our truths or going for what we really want in life.
“Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear.” – George Addair